Pages

Useful info. Locally generated, and found on the web.

The world's funniest proverbs

He who seeks trouble never misses

Go to previous page



A secondary school teacher made a list of some well known proverbs and gave the class the first half of the proverbs, so that they could complete the sayings. Here's what they came up with:

Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.

A miss is as good as a . . . mr.

You can't teach an old dog . . . maths.

An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.

There's no smoke without . . . pollution.

Two's company, three's . . . the musketeers.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and . . . you must blow your own nose.

When the blind leadeth the blind . . . best get out of the way.

Here is a collection of funny proverbs from all over the world

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Always remember: you're unique. Just like everyone else. (Anon)

Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river. (Haitian)

Ensure your kitchen is kept clean - eat out. (Anon)

Experience is something you get just after you need it. (Anon)

He who seeks trouble never misses. (English)

If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not the sport for you. (Anon)

It is never a good idea to test the water with both feet. (Anon)

Life is what happens when you are making other plans. (John Lennon)

The eyes believe what they see; the ears what people tell them. (German)

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. (Chinese)

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby. (Nigeria)

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. (Gandhi)

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and have you actually looking forward to the trip. (Anon)

Age is just mind over matter: if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. (Anon)

A closed mouth catches no flies. (Italian)

Anger is the outcome of the tongue working faster than the brain. (Anon)

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. (Then when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.) (Anon)

It is better to conceal one's knowledge than to reveal one's ignorance. (Spanish)

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. (Anon)

Everybody is ignorant, Only on different subjects. (Will Rogers)

He who laughs last laughs longest. And has probably only just got the joke. (Anon)

Your own stupid actions should not be confused with fate. (Anon)

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in big groups. (Anon)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, it's the size of the fight in the dog! (Anon)

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. (Anon)

Minds are like parachutes: they only work when open. (Anon)

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. (Abraham Lincoln)

The nail that sticks up is sure to be hammered down. (Japanese)

A pessimist is never disappointed. (Anon)

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty. (Winston Churchill)

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. (Anon)

You can turn dollars into cents, or sense into dollars, but not dollars into sense. (American)

Love your neighbours, but don't pull down the fence. (Chinese)

When your enemy falls, don't rejoice. But don't pick him up either. (Yiddish)

A man is a person who takes out the rubbish, then makes out he has just cleaned the house. (Anon)

God supplies the milk but not the jug. (German)